Lessons from a Cold Email … If you’re doing this, please stop immediately
On any given day, I might receive anywhere between 5-20 cold emails from various service providers and/or vendors pitching me their services and products. I’m sure you get them, too—maybe you get more of them, maybe you get less. It might surprise you to know that I read through Every. Single. One. of them.
See, as marketing leader, I LOVE seeing how people message their services and products. What did they feel was the most important thing to say right up front? Which subject lines and pre-headers really stand out? Is it obvious—or beyond obvious, in SO many cases—that they didn’t bother doing any research about what Mind the Gap Services does? Are we just a number and an email in a stats game? Based on their language/messaging, format, etc., do they have a clear sense of who their target market is and the language that best resonates with them? Are they clear on their differentiators? What positioning did they choose for their brand, service or product?
Yes, I really do think about these things when unsolicited emails hit my inbox. I get the need to hustle. I get the need to cold email. I’m not going to get annoyed from someone simply trying to get the word out.
I will admit, though, that I don’t often respond. Sometimes, I’ll reply using their opt-out messaging—which by the way, is a legal necessity to have, though is often missing. On very rare occasions I’ll reply back and politely let them know when their product or service may not be a fit—to be clear here, I have yet to receive more than 2 of these cold emails that have actually been relevant for our business and business structure.
The point to all this extra context is that it takes a lot to get me to respond—that’s likely the case more often than not for most, I imagine. So, when I find one that really just fires me up … I feel like I have to share.
I have two comms to share: An email and a LinkedIn DM. What do they have in common?
They didn’t have a clear sense of who their target audience is
They’re (most likely) going for quantity over quality interactions and reach outs
They positioned themselves as the hero by trying to showcase what they perceive as my failings … which is always a great start, right?
They made broad generalizations that simply don’t apply
The language/messaging they chose are representations of what their services can do and … they chose poorly
First up. The email.
For the sake of brevity, I’ll only share a couple things, starting with the subject line, because let’s get real: That’s where it all went sideaways. Right from the beginning. (I’ve covered the business name, otherwise the screen cap below is unaltered)
Instead of connecting with a pain point I might be experiencing, they just went straight for assuming what we have and what we’re doing is failing us.
This is the first line of the actual email:
That first part … wow, they’re really doubling down on assuming our current strategy and content are inadequate and failing.
I’m not sure if they were simply going for snark, but in two sentences they’ve managed to make some pretty BIG (incorrect) assumptions about both the quality and quantity of our blogs—without any understanding of our strategy or our actual needs.
In two sentences they’ve told me they don’t really understand their target audience, because if they did, they would focus on my pain points and blockers NOT the subjective quality or relative attention they feel is needed. Rather than telling me how their product may help address my actual needs, they’ve led with asserting their (unsolicited) opinions.
Finally, the product is for an AI platform that creates marketing content. Is this an example of that marketing content?
So, how could this have been fixed?
By making a few simple changes that focus on the pain points.
Change the subject line to: “Blogging Might Suck …” This at least connects to the action of blogging, which actually CAN be less than a delight, which takes it back to a pain point.
Change the first sentence to: “Connect your users with compelling on-brand blog content in minutes (and save money on paid search!).” This, again, addresses pain points: That creating content is time consuming and that what their AI creates will be reflective of our brand and our unique users (not just generic copy). If you don’t love my version of this sentence, that’s totally okay, too. You still get the point. (Side bar: This is me ignoring the fact that they use the word “users;” Mind the Gap Services, doesn’t have “users,” we have clients … another disconnect in their ICP-target audience mix)
Next up. The LinkedIn DM.
Again, for the sake of brevity, I’m only sharing the first-half, which is the relevant part. Below is an unaltered screen cap.
Oh boy. Where to start here. I imagine this line of messaging works just fine for some folks, certainly lack of time and inefficient processes are something most people have experienced at some point. So, where does this go wrong?
The writer TRIED to lean into a pain point, but instead leaned into a trope and pushed on the feelings of guilt some folks may have about not being as present of a parent or partner as they may want to be, while also fanning the flames of FOMO.
I’ll be completely candid here: I didn’t feel guilt or FOMO. At all. Because none of this messaging resonated with me. And that right there demonstrates the risk of using guilt, fear, or other negative emotions: You run the risk of alienating the intended Lead rather than establishing any sense of trust or rapport.
Once again, like the email example, this person is positioning their product/service as the hero to my assumed flailing and failing, albeit in this example, I’m not failing my business, it’s more personal … now, I’m failing my family and myself. Ouch.
According to Ramsey Solution’s The State of Small-Business Owners in America survey, about 40% of small business owners experienced burnout within the past year and ended the day feeling emotionally and physically exhausted. PayPal research found that 33% of small business owners cite time constraints as a primary driver of stress and about 27% feel they don’t have adequate time to spend with friends and family.
While those numbers are not insignificant (as a Doctor of Clinical Nutrition who specializes in stress, I am acutely aware of just how stressed out and burned out we are as a society), they are far from an overwhelming majority that justifies broad generalizations that characterize every small business owner as both trapped and absent.
This tells me the writer either doesn't have a real understanding of who their ICP is, or they do have it well defined, but they are using poor lead strategies by throwing the metaphorical spaghetti on the wall to see what sticks and who they capture (quantity vs quality). I’d love to know the conversion rate for this campaign.
So, why did this fail so badly with me?
For me, personally, and for many of the Founders/CEOs we work with, we do what we do because we are impact-driven, purpose-driven, and highly passionate about what we’re doing. Yes, things get stressful sometimes, but it’s not my norm, because that passion comes with purpose and fulfillment. And, THAT is why it has yet to feel like a “prison.”
I own or am a partner in 3 businesses—all 3 of which I’m actively growing. I chose to step away from the standard corporate structure to live my life and lead my businesses on my terms. That means establishing and maintaining the necessary boundaries to be present and accountable to myself, my significant other, and my business partners. There is nary a moment in the day when I’m not thinking about at least one of the businesses … I wake up out of a dead sleep mid-thought. It’s energizing to me. I get to focus my energy and my time growing things that make me giddy. It’s also given me the freedom to embrace my unique version of balance.
The thing is, I know I’m not unique in this, either—everyone has a unique sense of balance (it’s part of what I help my nutrition clients find and maintain) and most impact-driven and/or purpose-driven Founders get at least as much—if not more—from their work as they give to it.
So, how could this have been fixed?
By using messaging that focuses on the benefits and pain points without assuming to know the intended Lead:
Do more of the things you love
Make the processes you use work better for you—do the heavy lifting for you
Trust that you can take a step away when you want, and your business will continue to run seamlessly
Key Takeaways
Cold emails and DMs are reality, and I’m innately curious enough to read through most, if not all, that hit my inbox. If you have to send one, here’s some things to keep in mind:
Have a clear sense of your target audience. Understand who your ICP is, who your target audience is, and, importantly, if there are key differences or similarities between the two groups.
Quality over quantity. I get it, sometimes it’s a numbers game. Most of the time, the right message to the right person at the right time will outperform the spaghetti-on-the-wall approach.
Be the Guide, not the Hero. And, please don’t put down or insult your intended Lead as a way of propping up your brand/product/service (that’s really more villain energy). Most business owners, Founders and CEOs enjoy a feeling of competency … they don’t need a rescuer to wave a magic wand and gloriously make everything perfect. They’d rather wield the wand in a highly effective way themselves.
Be careful with broad generalizations. If you’re going to use them, double down on doing your due diligence to understand your target audience; then, make sure your email/DM list is reflective of that target audience.
Don’t forget: You represent your brand and the quality of the service/product you’re selling. If you're selling an AI platform that creates marketing content, be aware that your email messaging may be representative of the quality of that platform.
No one likes unsolicited advice cold emails. You may see a world of opportunity … if only someone would change these 5 things about ____ (their site, podcast, LinkedIn profile, etc). However, sending a cold email to someone saying you did an audit and here’s a list of stuff they should fix, endears you to approximately NO ONE. Establish rapport and trust with a side of relevant-TO-ME expertise. Simply displaying your expertise without knowing the context, the strategy, the hows and whys behind a business doesn’t demonstrate how your expertise will help me accomplish my goals. But how could it, when you don’t know what my goals are?
Understanding your ICP and target markets can feel like a monumental undertaking; we’re here to help if or when you need that extra hand. We’d be more than happy to create a bespoke magic wand and hand it over to you to wield masterfully.
